Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Leadership isn't about titles. It's about vision, resilience, and growth. I'm Erica Butler, and on the Go Hire show, we talk about the tools
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[00:00:35] Speaker B: Welcome to Go Higher with Erica Butler, where we help leaders, professionals, and entrepreneurs rise into their next level with strategy, resilience, and real tools that work in the real world. I'm Erica Butler. I'm the CEO of Higher. And today we're talking about something that determines everything. It's how we communicate, when it matters most. Because going higher isn't just about performance. It's about how we lead, how we listen, and how we create cultures in our families, our schools, and our workplaces.
And this is why I'm so excited to be speaking with Jasmine Davis today. She is the founder and the CEO of Pretty Talk llc, which I absolutely love that name, by the way. This is a leadership development organization, and it's commissioned to curate and cultivate brave conversations that strengthen people and communities. So, Jasmine, you have built this around character and creating spaces where people feel safe and honest. So let's dive in. Welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you today.
[00:01:34] Speaker C: Thank you, Erica. I'm so happy to be here.
[00:01:38] Speaker B: All right, so why don't we start with you telling us a little bit about yourself and Pretty Talk. What is this mission all about?
[00:01:45] Speaker C: Yeah. So Pretty Talk is, like you said, all about curating and cultivating brave conversations and community, and that is to developing people and especially young people. I love to develop and mentor them. It has been a passion of mine. And I also know that it's important to develop those that are also working with young people because sometimes, especially with their changes and all the things, it can be difficult, especially as people say, with Gen Z, they are cut from a different cloth. So I really, really enjoy encouraging people not to give up on them, but to learn what is most effective in communicating with them, to build a better and honest community. And when I say honest community, not just with other people, but within yourself. Because I think when we can allow people that space to have these brave conversations, they can honest with themselves, to empower other people to be honest with themselves. As well.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: I love that you already said right off the bat about never giving up on someone, because sometimes it's just that honest conversation. It's just that little nudge that I believe.
I believe in you, that can bring someone through a huge transformation, which is what you do. Oh, I love that you said that right off the bat. So let's go further before we talk about all the frameworks. What was happening in your life, in your career that made you say, this is bigger than motivation. This has to be a transformation? Tell us about that.
[00:03:14] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. So it was definitely professional, but then also very personal. In my professional life, I started in the juvenile justice system, and I got to help young people who were incarcerated in insecure housing to reintegrate into the community. And I absolutely loved it. I'm sure if I didn't go this route into entrepreneurship, I would still be there because I really enjoyed seeing them realize, like, I can do better.
I can rise to another level in my potential. And of course, we had our losses, which were heartbreaking, but that was very few and far between when we were committed to helping them see, you can do better. So I always knew that's where I wanted to stay in empowering young people.
And I did it in Massachusetts and I did it in Ohio. And one day, once I got back, after Covid and all the things that came with COVID right.
I was sitting in my office, and at the time, I had lost my father, who was my greatest champion. And I always talk about him because he really let me believe and developed me to believe I can do anything I put my mind to. And I lost him. And I realized I want to do this different. What I'm doing, we're doing it a little late because they're already here. Once you're in the system, it's very hard to get out of the system and to get back on track, which is why we try to do it when they're young, because they have more opportunity.
And I was like, you know what?
Pretty talk is born. And I mean, thank you for saying you love the name, because I'm like, it took me a second to sit with it, and I was like, you know what? Talks aren't always pretty, but we can keep it cute, right? So we're going to make sure that we have these tough conversations, but that we keep it pretty. And it is actually a framework, to your point. So it all worked together, and that's really where it was birthed out of.
[00:05:06] Speaker B: Well, Jasmine is so inviting. And I think because of who you're targeting and who this is for. I just. When I first saw it, I'm like, that is so inviting. It's not this scary corporate lingo because you're a CEO, you're a founder, you're a professional woman. And people could be intimidated by that. The young people, women and men, could be. And you invite them in with that name, and it's chic. I just think it's wonderful.
I'm telling you that. Absolutely.
Yeah, that's important. I think it's really important. And with the name, there's a culture from that even that you're birthing and you birthed in all of this. So let's continue to go deeper here. You have brand language, which is a really special. Curate and cultivate brave conversations. So I want to hear from you what makes a conversation brave and what makes it productive.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: I truly believe that brave conversations are the result of giving people space to be honest, even if it's something that's hard to talk about. Right. You give people space to be honest, but also set the expectation that we will be respectful with this honesty. And I think that gives people, you know, we say safe environments, but sometimes when we say safe, it's like you're securing people from the things that could hurt. Right. But in brave conversations, it's like, you know what? I'm scared. This may not go exactly how I thought. This might look a little different, but I'm gonna brave it, and I'm gonna show up in the space and be honestly authentic and speak my piece, speak my mind, whether it's professional or even in our personal. Because I think the way you show up and you take care of yourself personally, it bleeds into how you are present in professional spaces. And so I just heard that said, you know, you may not always find a resolution, so find agreements. And I'm saying it a little different, but it's like, if we can find agreements, what are the things we want, the outcomes we want? Then we can determine my resolution may be we not. May. We may not be best friends. Right? We may not agree on, you know, those hard things. You know, people want to go into politics and finances.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: Why we're at work.
[00:07:14] Speaker C: We have a job to do. The same person who wants these, you know, outcomes from us, let's focus on that. And so I think creating brave conversations just lets people recognize, hey, we might be friends, we might not. Or this might be an easy conversation, it might not. But still, we are able to come to this space and be productive and that it's okay.
[00:07:37] Speaker B: And that it's okay. It doesn't mean you have to be disrespectful or unkind or, you know, all that. You know, what's so interesting is you're so specific about your mission. It's so focused, and I think it's genius because actually, in my executive coaching work, we focus a lot on this, and we get. We have jobs of helping senior leaders that they struggle with, holding people accountable, conflict management. It's like the hardest thing to do as a leader. The hardest thing to do at all levels. Fortune 500 and these individuals you're working with and training, the leaders as well, are getting access to figuring out how to break through one of the hardest things of making an impact. And that's why I love that you attack this, because it is. The game changer is one of the top.
[00:08:18] Speaker C: It is. And I love that I get to take the framework and build up young people, because if we could put it in them earlier, as they're growing and going into their professional lives in the world they want to go into, they'll already have this space. So.
[00:08:31] Speaker B: Yeah, because it is hard, but. Oh, yeah, but it's a skill set. It's a skill to learn. You can learn. It's not easy, but you can learn it. And it gets easier as you get good at doing it. So I think anyone can. So you're a motivate. You're a speaker.
You also are a speaker, and you lift people up, you inspire. So you have said, though, you're not necessarily a motivational speaker, you're an inspirational speaker. Talk to me about the difference about that. And like, what's. What do you. What is your focus in all of this?
[00:08:57] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I love that. I was like, oh, she made me think with that one, you know, just in preparation. Because I think it was a friend of mine who I love so dearly, and he said that to me. He's like, you're an inspirational speaker.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: And I was like, okay.
[00:09:11] Speaker C: You know, and it, Paul, it causes you to pause and think, and it makes me realize I don't want to just speak to people for the moment. Right. I want whatever I say and however I engage them to leave a lasting, lifelong impact. I often tell the young people that I'm talking to and even adults, you know, I just had a moment in the gym the other day where I was talking to a lady and I said, someone paid it forward to me, and I'm going to pay it forward to you. You are going to reach this goal. Keep Going forward. And she said, yes, we are. Thank you so much. And I may never see this woman again a day in my life. But I knew, like, it can encourage her. It helped me. There were people that sewed into me at different moments in my life. And so I want to empower people for life. Right. Beyond meeting me when they don't see me again. Right. Be kind. Show love and respect in whatever area you're talking to someone in. Right. And be brave enough to show up as yourself so they can show up as themselves.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: Right.
[00:10:09] Speaker C: While also appreciating the fact that we can change, we can evolve. Right. Be it right or wrong. I think sometimes people are so afraid, you know, to be wrong. And it's like, it's okay to be wrong. Because all you. The worst thing that can happen is you start over.
[00:10:25] Speaker B: Yes. And you learn, and you actually learn and use that. I totally agree with you. And you will be wrong, and you will fail. Sometimes that's okay. Just keep going. Yeah.
[00:10:36] Speaker C: People in that, like, I just hear the scared.
[00:10:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. And that is one of the other big things to get over the other side of that. But your passion is so clear. It just radiates through you. And I'm sure that comes out as a speaker, too.
And I think it's so amazing, this example that you actually spoke with someone at the gym. Because I personally think these are the most engaging, powerful leaders out there, that they're not just gonna run their business this way. They see it, they say it. And I do that because I have to, because I believe what we're doing so much. I have, like. And people almost always are thankful, and they respond and say thank you, and they listen and they. Because you know what you're talking about. So I think, like, just encouraging the audience like you do, Jasmine, when you see it, say it. Lift wherever, you know. And. Yeah. Just really cool that you live that much in your life, even at the gym. What a great example.
Okay, so last question of this segment for leaders watching. What are the early warning signs that communication shifted from healthy tension, which is a good. A good place to be. A little tension is okay. Healthy. But to cultural damage that we need to watch out for.
[00:11:39] Speaker C: Yeah, for sure. I think body language, you know, facial expressions, positioning, like, pay attention. Right. Pay attention to what people are not saying. Right. Because we know body language is what. I think it's like 80% of language.
[00:11:54] Speaker B: Right.
[00:11:55] Speaker C: You can just tell immediately when someone is like.
And so I think knowing what they're saying or not saying. Right. We have an agenda. As leaders, sometimes we want to get something done and we go so fast in our outcomes that we're not paying attention, that people are actually giving us information.
Right. And so we may not be listening to what they need. Whether it's like, okay, I see they have an attitude. Well, how do I address that? Or I see they're not feeling the best. How do I address that instead of just rolling past something? And yes, we do have things to get done. We have timelines. Right. But without your people, your timeline does not matter. Right. I just had an experience with someone and I asked them about a particular outcome and they were like, I apologize. Three months of our schedule had been pushed back because they had resignations that came up and they had to pause and reset. And it's like, if you don't take care of people and pay attention, it will always end up biting you on the back end. So how they're showing up in their space can share a lot with you as the leader.
[00:13:02] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. I couldn't agree more with you. Great advice. So we're going to close this segment and next we're going to talk about turning tough conversations into measurable growth for teams, schools, and organizations.
[00:13:15] Speaker A: We'll be right back with more stories, lessons, and practical tools to help you rise in leadership, business and life. This is Go Higher on NOW Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Erica Butler, and you're watching Go Higher on NOW Media Television. Let's continue the conversation that helps you lead live and love with purpose.
[00:13:35] Speaker B: Welcome back to Go Higher. If you want more conversations like this, then watch NOW Media TV live or on demand anytime. You can Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS for nonstop bilingual programming in both English and in Spanish. If you're on the move, you can catch the podcast version at NowMedia TV and stay locked into Now Media TV across business, leadership, lifestyle, culture, and so much more.
So again, welcome back. I am Erica Butler on the Go Hire show, and I am so fortunate to be here today with Jasmine Davis of Pretty Talk llc. So we're shifting from talking about inspiration to your actual implementation because we, we can't always rise on just our passion and the inspiration and rah rah alone. Right. That's important. But let's talk about the practical.
So I want to dive into leadership language. When a leader says we need more accountability here all the time, what are they usually avoiding saying? They say it in a team meeting, they say it. What are they avoiding saying out loud?
[00:14:43] Speaker C: Yeah, I think it's really just gets to.
They don't like the outcomes that people are giving. Folks aren't doing a good job. They want them to do something better. And so I think sometimes that when we say accountability, people are looking at us like, well, what do you mean? I thought I did it right. And so that's why I go back to. I think it's important to make sure that we understand what are the agreements, what are these job duties and tasks that you're supposed to accomplish versus my expectations of how they should do something. Because as a leader, if you do want a clone of yourself, then you should say that to people when they're coming into the job, right? I just want you to do exactly what I want you to do, how I tell you to do it. Like I want it done. Because if not, people are coming in with their own experience and how they are going to accomplish something. And so I think it's so important that you're very clear, right? And if you hire them and you don't give them that, trust them to do the job, right, that delegation we always talk about, right? You want a robot or a creative thinker. And so I think that's got to be clear.
[00:15:46] Speaker B: Well, I hear a lot of accountability from your answer because before you would say something like that, we need more accountability. You're looking at yourself as a leader.
Did I train them? Did I make it clear? Did I give them the job? You know, all that. And I love that you start there because I agree you always want to look. Do they have what they need to be accountable? Because a lot of times they don't.
So moving on, what are the three phrases you hear in organizations right before culture breaks down and what are ways we can replace them?
[00:16:14] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, this was a big tough one, right? I had, I definitely had the two. You know, I'm tired, right. I hear that so much and it's like exhaustion. You can hear exhaustion in people, you know, and they could be like, oh, home or whatever. But it's like think about it, you know, if they're that tired, they can't shake that and they're in the workspace, there's probably a lot more there.
And I think we have to find a way to give people recipe. I know in my career, especially when I was in the field doing the hands on work in the community, you know, I really appreciated the culture because they started giving us space to just woo, saw right go. And I shared in the last interview.
[00:16:56] Speaker B: That's great.
[00:16:56] Speaker C: I'm taking that, you know, Play with the sand. Play with play. D'oh. You know, they would help people to reset their brains because especially given on the type of work you do, there's a lot of tiredness that can come with it. Right. I think another one is it won't change, right? There's this culture, right, that we don't have platforms or opportunities to express our changes. And then by the time people are just like, whatever, I'm just not even going to really give my all in it. We're reacting, right, but we're not really providing sincere space for people to share, you know, anonymously or not anonymously. And because sometimes people are like, I'm gonna get in trouble if I do say this. And we've seen it happen. It does happen in real time. So you can't be mad at people, right? So when you start hearing that language, I'm tired, I'm exhausted. Oh, it won't change. Nothing ever changes. It's just like, ah. And like, you can tell there's a breakdown.
[00:17:49] Speaker B: Jasmine, you're also showing so much humility. Like, I do HR for our company and just did a focus group last week, and the leaders allowed us to come in with them. Not in the room. And can I tell you, it is a game changer. So you're right. If you're hearing these things, nail them on the head. Do you have a place where people can go that is not that it's not going to go back to the leader of the name? Because people do get scared. Even if it's the nicest leader ever. They're like, I could get fired. Like, I hear people say that for years.
And you're right. I love that you open that up as an option. It could be a comment box. It could be just tell this person and they'll keep it confidential. A lot of ways you could do it, focus groups, skip level meetings. I love that you called that out. That is a game changer as well. You're like such nuggets here.
So in your work, how do brave conversations, using your terminology here, protect retention?
Especially with younger people who might not want to speak up up before they leave. They might leave and not even say they're frustrated. That happens all the time.
[00:18:48] Speaker C: Okay. And I love this question because younger millennials, like Gen Z and younger, they will absolutely leave. So I. And I can't say I blame them because society is teaching them to have autonomy. Right. And to speak up. Right? But I want to empower them to speak up respectfully and to make sure they're saying it so that it doesn't come back on them as well. That's why we got rid of them, because they don't know how to talk to people. Right. They don't know how to respect authority. It's like I can respect authority but still be assert in how I'm feeling. Right.
And so I think brave conversations, it truly allows people the space to give that opinion without that fear of being judged or reprimanded. Right. And so when folks feel safe, they usually continue to pour into their environment and produce effective outcomes. And so I think that that is very important as a leader to remember, especially when you're trying to build, because if you keep having to start over, you're never going to get that house finished. Right.
It's just going to skeleton, as they would say, or a frame, you know, of the house.
[00:19:52] Speaker B: Well, they're very fortunate to have you as a leader because you lead by example. And when you lead by example and you share hard conversations, you be vulnerable. It allows other people to as well. So, yeah, that's great. I want to talk like real world reset here that you've experienced. So if a team has been operating with like passive aggressive mode, we all know that it's very icky for months, then what's the first conversation? If you were the leader there that you would have, you wouldn't let that happen. But if you came into a new team and it was going on for months, what was your first conversation?
[00:20:24] Speaker C: Yeah, I think you have to immediately provide space for people to genuinely share their opinions about whatever they need to share. If I don't like the lunch y' all offer, that's something so minute. Right? But for someone who may be facing food insecurity or something like that, it may not be minute all the way up until the CEO has disrespected me and I don't know how I'm gonna keep showing up and doing this job, but I need to do it because I need to provide for my family. Right. Like, people need those spaces to be able to talk. And I think as leaders, we have to allow that, then listen and include them in finding actual solutions. Right. Of course, being mindful to let them know every suggestion may not be implemented. Right. But we want you to know that you're heard and you are being considered because most of the time that's what people just want to know is that you care about what they're saying and that you care about their feelings. Okay. And so setting the guidelines for communication expectations and outcomes will help with that. Right. Will help even for yourself. So not just for them, but for yourself and how you're going to show up for them.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: Oh, Jasmine, I couldn't agree with you more. I have seen it time and time again. Even if the answer is no, we can't do that. And here's why. People are not upset. They just wanted to be heard and they just wanted a place to put it. And then the fact that you looked into it and responded, even if it's no and it's a reasonable answer, then it's in the past and this griping is done and you move on. But that is things. So I totally agree. It's true.
So I would love. We like to challenge our audience, and I'm sure you have some good challenges for them. So what's one conversation you want every leader to schedule this week or soon that could immediately elevate trust and clarity on their team?
[00:22:05] Speaker C: Oh, one conversation to elevate that trust.
I would honestly ask people to give you something that they do not like about their work.
And I say that because I think it challenges the leader to really address things that they're like. Well, I don't really have to say anything about that because I am the leader. I think it challenges you. I love your word to be humble about that. Right. Because as leaders, yes, we're in these positions, but we're not always in charge.
[00:22:37] Speaker B: Right.
[00:22:37] Speaker C: You need your people, and I think for them, it challenges them to show up in this space like your workers, whoever is serving with you, to make sure that they're being honest about how they're doing in the workspace. Because I think sometimes just that survival culture. Right, we'll just be quiet and we'll keep it. Keep it pushed down and won't bring things out. So I think that asking what is one thing you do not like. Right. I think that would be a game changer for people if they started doing that.
[00:23:09] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't always share all this much, but actually I start focus groups like that for years.
I love that because it works.
Jasmine, where can people find you in Pretty Talk who want to learn more and get involved?
[00:23:23] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. So on social media, we are Pretty Talk llc, so you can find us everywhere on that. Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn. It is there as a page under my name so you can still follow, and that's where you can learn more and see how we're evolving and growing.
[00:23:43] Speaker B: Awesome. Well, up next, I'm going into identity and leadership. So we're going to talk about how people's life Experience. Shape their wives. Experience. Sorry. Shape how they show up in conflict and how leaders can coach them, knowing their past and how that impacts their identity and their future.
[00:24:01] Speaker A: We'll be right back with more stories, lessons, and practical tools to help you rise in leadership, business and life. This is Go Higher on Now Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Erica Butler and you're watching Go Higher on Now Media Television. Television. Let's continue the conversation that helps you leave live and love with purpose.
Yeah.
[00:24:27] Speaker B: Okay.
Oh, my gosh. You're so fun to talk to. You're killing it. I really, I just say it like it is. Oh, my gosh. I just. You really know your stuff. I really like. You just know what works. I totally agree with you because, you know, experience. You just know. We tried enough stuff at this point. You just know.
[00:24:42] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:24:43] Speaker B: Amazing. I love your leadership stuff. Style.
[00:24:45] Speaker C: Oh, thank you so much. I love your energy. Okay. It is just. Yes. I love it.
[00:24:51] Speaker B: Well, you have it. I believe in what we're all, you know, I believe in what we're doing, so. But I better keep going because. Because you have the 40. Stop. I want to be. I want to be mindful. So let's keep rolling. We'll. We'll go to that and then I just want to be mindful of that and respectful of your time.
[00:25:03] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:25:04] Speaker B: Yeah, but we should, we should do a one on one or something at some point, let you know. You can. Yeah, yeah. Do you have a beach out. But. Okay, okay, okay. One second. Let me just make sure I'm in the right place.
[00:25:15] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:17] Speaker B: So I'll just go and I'm ready, right, Edgar, at this point. Because Jasmine's always ready. I can tell.
Welcome back to Go Higher. I'm continuing with Jasmine Davis and this is where leaders really do go higher. You can hear in her answers she knows what she's talking about. She has the experience. And what she's doing is working, obviously. So this is a place where we don't just have people shut down. We listen, we hear, we give them space for feedback and to be part of solutions. And I know Jasmine is living that because of her examples.
So I'm drawing from Jasmine's mission of building strong people through character and leadership development, especially youth, which is also near and dear to my heart. And I love that you focus on the youth. So let's dive in even further now. So you're working with young people who've learned to stay guarded in some of the worst situations nobody should have to go through.
So I Get emotional even thinking about it, just because of some of my own things I've seen and what's out there in the world. So what does leadership development look like when someone doesn't trust adults, systems, or even themselves?
[00:26:24] Speaker C: Yeah, I love these questions, especially in my background with juveniles. I mean, I just, I love them. So thank you for these.
I would say 100% authenticity is what you have to give when people are guarded. It could be young person, even older individuals, because people are people. They genuinely want to know that you're not being phony, that you're not like hiding, you know, something and you know, gonna kind of do a gotcha, you know, thing behind, you know, giving them the opportunity to truly decide whether they want to be around you or not. And I think that's okay. You know, I think sometimes, you know, we get into that I just want to be nice culture and that people pleasing culture. And. And when you do that, you are actually not giving people the opportunity to truly get to know you. Right. And giving them their prerogative and their choice. And so once you invite somebody to truly know who you are by being authentic, I think it gives them the opportunity to decide if they want you in their space. And that's what starts building trust. And that's where leadership development can begin. Because if someone doesn't trust you, they're most likely not going to really be listening to you and everyone will not receive from you. And that's okay. I think we have to be okay with that. Just know your audience, know the space, meaning, age, perspective, language, all that is included in making sure that people can trust you. And then again, just giving them that knowledge so they can realize whether or determine whether they have the capacity to be in engagement with you. And especially if you're in a workplace, if you don't have capacity right. To do it, outsource as someone who can come in and can give them what they need because you still got to get the job done. But maybe you not the best person to facilitate that.
[00:28:14] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely agree yet again.
So what are the two top character traits you build first when you're helping young women find their voice? And I want to hear why those are first and you can talk about your past experience, how you're being doing things, like in preparation now with other groups outside of the juvenile systems, whoever you want to talk about. But yeah, I'd love to hear your take on, on that.
[00:28:41] Speaker C: Yeah, Confidence and respect.
Right, Confidence and respect. Or I like to say it when we talk about being pretty, empathy and that word gets lost so much, right?
But it ties back into, you know, a thread. I think you can hear in everything I'm saying. When you consider other people and especially when you consider them in light of what you've experienced, right. You can connect with them on such a greater level. And so I start with confidence because I want to teach them, them not to devalue themselves and to understand that acknowledging how they show up in a room, it matters, right? So when I come in a room, if my head is down and I'm not looking and I'm, I'm scared to speak, I'm skittish, people are gonna be like, oh, okay. Some people are like, I can run over a person like that, you know, when you attract those type of people. Or some people are like, oh, I better not play around with them because they ain't taking no stuff. You know, like people know how to address, you know, some people, some people have said it like you teach people how to treat you.
And so I think that's even in our workplace, you know, how you step up and how you get work done.
I think that confidence matters in that and that empathy considering other people, it is just something that we need to teach more and more because we're so self centric right now in society. And I think that we're all still human.
So in that humanity, everybody just wants to know that somebody cares about what they've got to say, what they've been through, et cetera. So those are the top two things that I try to hone in quickly.
[00:30:19] Speaker B: Well, you explained it so well. But also that confidence, one that was a shock for me having my own company now seven years, but that is the one that keeps coming up in coaching and training. And I thought I was the only one that didn't have the confidence to go for it, to do it, to do it. Scared, we like to say. That's like a phrase we use a lot. Got it from amazing.
And I think for these young women to know that actually we all are, we all are there. We all tell ourselves and you have to learn to quiet that voice. And you just exactly how you're saying Jasmine. So what you're saying is so right on. And I think everybody needs us at some point in their life.
[00:30:57] Speaker C: And let me just say, I would never know that confidence was something you had to develop and like to silence the voice in your mind because you just come through. And that's amazing, right? That's what I want for all the people that I'm able to Come in contact with.
[00:31:12] Speaker B: So I love that, Jasmine, you're living the magic. Because I can tell. The magic is you start caring more about the mission and the people you know you'll help more than how you look yourself.
Messing up mistakes and being embarrassed. You just get over being embarrassed. Who cares anymore? Because, you know, people need to hear this and they need the love they need, and you're living it, and you just go. And then you stop caring about that. Doesn't make it easier then.
I used to be told to not use my hands when I talk. I'm Italian.
Look it, you gotta be yourself. Authentic, authentic girl. I totally.
[00:31:48] Speaker C: I love it.
[00:31:50] Speaker B: You have to. And you are. All right, I could stay on that point, but let's keep going.
There is one misconception leaders sometimes have about professionalism. Also why I like your name. It actually silences people and they're not themselves, like, sitting on your hands. Like, that's not me. How do you evolve past that?
[00:32:09] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.
I think that people get caught up in, you know, if I'm going to be professional, I need to silence my thoughts. I need to silence how I feel. I need to not bring it up. And it's like, that is the worst thing you can do. When you come into a job, they hire you because they believe that you can accomplish the goal. And so if you're silent and you never speak up about, hey, can I offer this? Or hey, can I share this perspective and point of view. Right. Even if at the end of the day, the totality of your idea or what you offered is not, you know, embraced. Right. You can at least know, like, I did my best, though, and I did try to offer what I think could work. And so I think people have to get over the idea that professionalism is just staying silent. Because I think there's a fine line between understanding your role and respecting authority in a role, and then also not being rolled over. Right.
You have to be made and you have to be able to stand in those things and not be afraid of challenges and things like that. So, yeah, I think that would be the biggest thing, is not being afraid to stand. Speak up.
[00:33:18] Speaker B: And being rolled over is not being honest, actually, because you're going to be bitter. You have to, you know, speak up, step up.
So. Well said. Okay, so if a leader wants to invest in the local community and economy through the impact you're doing, what does it look like to get involved in your people development donations as well? Of course. But also to get involved and help.
[00:33:41] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I would Say mentor, spend time, volunteer, Right. Have conversation, honest conversations with people that you meet, whether they're going to pour back into your business or not, pay it forward. Right. There's so many people that took me to a lunch meeting, took me for a coffee and poured into me to just say, hey, if this is what you want to do, this is the type of thing you need to invest in, or if this is how you want to develop, you need to start doing these type of activities because it's going to help you develop as a leader. I mean, I can just remember so many times when people did that and they poured into me in a moment in my life that lasted and has lasted a lifetime. I can think of a mentor, a judge who's retiring now. I met him in the eighth grade, Right. And he still talks to me today. And that was when I thought I was going to be a juvenile court judge. Right. I was going on that track. And to this day, he's like, oh, I see you doing the business. That was your fit. And it's like, yes, sir. And I learned so much through that process. Right. But he continued to encourage me.
[00:34:51] Speaker B: He.
[00:34:51] Speaker C: His wife encourages me now, you know, so it's just like, I'm so grateful for those type of bonds, and I think they boost your confidence and your belief in yourself that you can accomplish goals. So any opportunity that I have, and I would encourage you that you have right in the audience to pay it forward in encouragement and mentorship and volunteering. Right. Do that because it makes the world a difference. Difference.
[00:35:14] Speaker B: And also on the flip side, if you're someone who doesn't know what to do, is scared, but wants to try, aren't you surprised, Jasmine, how many of those people said yes to help? I was shocked by that. Like, mentors that I deserved. I, like, put it off for months to even ask. And then, yes, here. Have some clients have that. Like, here's my book of what. I mean, it's unreal how much people who have been successful or are successful are willing to give it back. What? To give it back. Because people poured into them. They say yes almost always. So don't be afraid to ask. Most times you're going to get yes and you're going to. They're going to pull you up and learn and teach you. It's amazing. I was shocked by that, that confidence. You can't do it one time.
[00:35:54] Speaker C: They're doing things. You got them.
[00:35:58] Speaker B: Yeah. Yep. Absolutely. Oh, my gosh. Well, this was an amazing segment. So next I'm asking Jasmine to build a simple blueprint, leaders can use just a conversational framework that will help improve communic communication and strengthen cultures and move us in the right direction. With this topic, we'll be right back
[00:36:16] Speaker A: with more stories, lessons and practical tools to help you rise in leadership, business and life. This is Go Higher on NOW Media Television.
And we're back. I'm Erica Butler, and you're watching Go Higher on NOW Media Television. Let's continue the conversation that helps you lead live and love with purpose.
[00:36:36] Speaker B: So welcome back to Go Higher. I'm Erica Butler and this is our final segment with Jasmine Davis, founder and CEO of Pretty Talk, llc.
I always like to leave viewers with. You left them with so much already, but with some lasting, tangible things that they can put into action immediately in their company, nonprofit school team. And like you said, personally in your household, this matters in your personal life as well.
So I am just asking to talk about a clear, repeatable framework of how we can have these conversations. And like we said, we get better or over time. So please build me that out. The Pretty Talk framework. What are the four to five steps you use to guide these brave conversations through tension and to get to the other side of these resolutions?
[00:37:21] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely.
I would give four things, right. That you should focus on when you are developing space to have resolution. Right. And that would be mindset, Right. Your mindset is everything, no matter what age. Right. Because it's difficult to get past fixed mindsets. We all should be in a space, whether you're a leader or someone who is just serving, Right. We should all be in that space where we can grow, be open to possibilities. Right. And so with different audiences, you're going to have different outcomes that are desired. So just knowing, like, if I'm open to the possibilities of changes, I can always be ready. So your mindset, or let me finish that statement, I can always be ready to change and to grow and to develop in whatever area we're doing. So having a mindset of growth is important. Then I would say responsibility.
Own your stuff, right? Own your baggage and your garbage, right? Because when I go on a trip, right, I'm taking the essentials. I'm taking the things that I need to enjoy my vacation. But also I know there's some garbage I got that I need to drop in that trash can before I get here, because that has nothing to do with where I'm trying to go. And I think we have to be very mindful of that, especially in performance professional spaces. Right. And I think that it's Important because people get to see that you are also vulnerable. Right. And it's liberating. It's liberating for them, and it's liberating for you. I would say. The third thing was consideration, which we talked about in the last segment, is so important to me because when you're mindful of others, how your actions might affect them.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: Right.
[00:39:02] Speaker C: And that it may not always be to someone's liking, but we can do our best not to create collateral damage in trying to get to goals. I think that's very important. And I think a big area that we can pay attention to that is in communication styles. Right. Because communication styles are so different amongst people. And if we can just be mindful of that, it would make a world of difference. And then finally, those agreements. Right. So this was new for me, and it's something I've recently embraced because I'm someone who always wants to find a resolution. Right. My brain thrives on conclusions and just rounding things out. But I recently heard that, and I tried to say it earlier, but I think I got it now. That find agreements. Because resolutions are not always possible. Right. So job expectations are things that you have to get accomplished because that's what you've been hired to do versus my personality. It may not always, you know, fit with somebody that I have to get a job done. But if we can keep our focus on accomplishing this task, what does that look like? How do we get there? Right. Both parties are going to be happy, even though there's differences because we got done what we need to get done. Right. And so not being disrespectful in those things. Right. But just making sure that my agreements, what we got, get done, that those are highlighted.
So I think those would be the four things I would say to really start creating that pretty talk framework and
[00:40:27] Speaker B: to build the best cultures, you actually have to really lean into that disagreement. And even if you end up having an agreement, one page like this is what we agreed on, because leaders sometimes just look the other way. I've seen it so many times. But it's not okay for our team not to be in agreement. They don't have to be best friends, but be in agreement. It messes everyone else up. It packs everybody. I love that you make that a focus.
Well done.
So what's the sentence that sets the tone at the beginning so people know they're not being attacked? Like, how do you approach a difficult conversation? What do you say first?
[00:41:02] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. So of course, you know, I greet the people. Just, hey, Everybody, you know, and like, let's get into it. I try to keep it light because it's like, y' all know we about to talk about something y' all want to talk about, so let's just do it. And I would definitely say something to the effect of, you know, we appreciate all of your commitment and we recognize there's frustration that we got to get worked out. So this is a space where we are going to give everyone opportunity to speak and then also analyze how we move forward with everyone in mind. Right. And I think just creating that initial soft landing pad because we're going to get back here, right? We're going to come back to the point of this meeting, right? And we can always get our focus back to the point was to make sure that everyone is heard and then that we can figure out how everyone can be considered in our solution.
[00:41:54] Speaker B: See, I love that you lay intentions out because when you lay intentions are coming from a good place, people are more willing to listen and to do it when the intentions are good. It's not like you're just trying to stop drama, you know, I want to ask a follow up. Do you, in your communication styles, you talked a lot about different understanding and respecting different communication styles. Do you use DISC or Myers Briggs or like, do you use a tool that you recommend that you think is better or is it your experience with what. What do you use?
[00:42:20] Speaker C: Yeah, so my experience is definitely my biggest teacher. You know, you have put a thought in my mind, Erica. I may have to work with someone to come up with a personality test because when I say I've taken every single one of those personality tests, I sure have. And I love disc. I love Myers Briggs. I've even done some other leadership, you know, examples that let me know that I'm a leader and I'm a very empathetic leader. And I know sometimes that does not always vibe with who are very like straightforward. But I think we need each other. You know, I think you have to know like how to balance both of those worlds in leadership. So yeah, no, I definitely. It's definitely my experience, but you've given me something to chew on there.
[00:43:07] Speaker B: Well, it's amazing because to your point, it brings so much light to a situation. I do disc. I love a lot of them, but disc, because it's such a. It brings light when you know where this person's coming from. Oh, no wonder you respond that way because this is touching, this is stressing you out. I didn't know that. I'm sorry, I can Fix that. You know, it's. It's just mind blowing, I think. And you know, too, from your experience.
Awesome. So sometimes, as you know, people get emotional or defensive in these conversations. I think it's a big reason leaders push it off and don't want to do it. What do you recommend leaders do in that exact moment when someone starts getting emotional or defensive to keep that conversation productive?
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:43:44] Speaker C: I think you have to immediately allow space for those feelings. Right. As long as they're not being disrespectful, allow space, Let them get it out. Don't shut them down. I don't want to hear this. I ain't talking about. Let them get that out, because it needs to come out. And then share your understanding of their feelings. Right. And if it's not at the time where you can go into it and really break it down, give them your commitment to follow up. Right. On what it is that's bothering them. Because I think it really allows for people to, again, going back to the top of our conversation, feel safe and then making that space for them to be brave. Right. To truly speak up. And so I think asking about the ability to revisit those feelings and continue the discussion that is at hand. Right.
Is very helpful in making sure that something can continue to be productive. Right. Because we may not be able to break all of this down right now, but we can come back to it and someone can be like, all right, I can hang on for a little bit longer even if I'm frustrated. You know, you're so right.
[00:44:49] Speaker B: Because even though it can be uncomfortable when you lean in, you might learn something big. I've learned of disabilities we didn't know about. I've learned just be like, oh, well, that's a, That's a different situation. Then it completely changes the course. And you're so right. Oh, I love that answer. I keep saying well done, but I just really respect your approach to these things.
So now a lot of leaders are like, I hear you. And they, they want to listen. But so what, what does it. What's the action then? Like what.
How do you really get the team's buy in that you're listening, that they're being heard? How do you. How do you show it?
[00:45:21] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I think it truly is about the follow up and sooner rather than later, don't tell someone, you know, I'm going to touch base with you. And then it's not for, like, they probably moved on. They ain't even thinking about whatever was bothering them, you know, Especially if they're still there because they've obviously found something to ground them. Now if you keep having people leave every two weeks and not show up and say, you might need to pay attention a little sooner than that because you're going to keep having, you know, that rolling open door.
But yeah, following up sooner rather than later. And then I would also say I heard a mentor of mine say that leadership is kindness and structure. Right. So I'm coming to you and I'm making sure that you, you can hear my consideration of you. But also this is what I need you to do. I need you to do it within these timeframes. I need you to make sure I have these outcomes really laying it out. And so I think as leaders, when we are trying to make sure that people are bought in, we also have to give them an outline and a structure with which to accomplish that. I think it's kind of like children and they can teach us so much as adults all the time. They, they love structure, even if it looks like they don't. They love nap time even when they fight it. Right. They wake up like energizing bunnies, you know, and it's like this is the time to reset. And I think we have to do that even in our adult spaces as well.
[00:46:41] Speaker B: Yeah, I do like these little things. They stick with you and they help. But just going off that clear, clear is kind, clear is kind. And if you're not very clear, that's not a strength. If you're a little disorganized, maybe as a visionary leader, you said bring in somebody, delegate that and help them build that structure for you.
But it's important.
So again, practical here as all of this has been. But if a leader wants to go higher this month, what's one communication metric they should track? It could be turnover or missed deadlines. Engagement survey, how do you track if it's going well or not with communication?
[00:47:17] Speaker C: Yeah, I would definitely say based on those examples that turnover and engagement. Right. The lack thereof or the lack thereof, I think that that's very, very important to pay attention to. We talked about it a little earlier about what are they not saying along with what is actually being said. Because I think that being able to identify those things through regular check ins and making sure that you're showing up in a respectful space and being considerate of thoughts, it helps the leaders to keep up with those changes and to not get lost in the everyday outcomes that have to be done. And also so that you are not losing folks in silen.
Right. Because I can be at my desk and preparing to leave months before you recognize it, and you're planning big activities and big outcomes that I'm not going to be there for, you know, And I remember when it was time for me to leave a job and that was happening, and I actually told my boss in advance, I was like, this is coming. And because of the type of work I did, it was almost like six months in advance that I was able to give them. And it hurt, right? And they couldn't believe it. But I knew new. Like, it's important for me to let them know, because in the work that we do, you're. You're. You're planning with me in mind.
And I want to make sure that, you know, if I'm ever leading a team of people and I'm planning with them in mind, of course, that I'm also tapped into. Are they still with me? Are they still here? Do they have other plans, you know, and to celebrate them? Especially if it's because they're getting more opportunities and things like that. You know, I think we have to, you know, be happy for people, even if it's kind of sore because we don't want them leave.
[00:49:01] Speaker B: But you're right. There is a newness and excitement in starting your own company or whatever that is.
What integrity, Jasmine. What integrity. And much respect to you that you handled it that way. All right, well, let's wrap up with making sure everyone knows where to find you. So, Jasmine, where can people find you? And also where can they engage with Pretty Talk LLC?
[00:49:22] Speaker C: Yes. So Pretty Talk LLC, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, you can type it in, it'll pop up under my name, and that is how you can follow us and just see the growth.
Because as everything that we've shared today, I'm in a growth mindset. We are growing all the time at Pretty Talk, and that's what we want to encourage other people to continue to do as well.
[00:49:45] Speaker B: Awesome. Well, Jasmine, thank you so much for bringing heart. You brought so much heart today and structure to our conversation. It was so tangible, real nuggets that people can take away.
So what I'm thinking is you're just inspiring me as well to always bring brave conversations personally and professionally. Talk about the hard stuff so you can go with your family, with your friends in your community. It's just.
It's beautiful. It's beautiful what can happen in those spaces. And the relationships just go deeper and go stronger and so much more happens. So thank you, Jasmine. I hope you have an awesome rest of your day. And I can't wait to connect further and keep the conversation going.
[00:50:23] Speaker C: Take care. Absolutely.
[00:50:25] Speaker B: Oh, yes. And in closing, you know, this is Go higher. There's a lot of heart behind the show as well. That's why Jasmine is such a perfect fit for this today. And I'm Erica Butler and I to want definitely see you next time.
Well, thank you so much, Jasmine. My face hurts me smiling so much.
[00:50:50] Speaker C: Amazing, Erica. Thank you.
[00:50:52] Speaker B: It was. If you do disc. I don't know. I'm guessing you're an I off the charts and I am too. I could be wrong. I know you did a lot of different ones, but. Yeah, you're so inspiring. You really are. So this has been. Oh, I'm just like, ready to run a marathon now or take a nap, you know, one of those.
[00:51:07] Speaker C: I think I have my disc.
One of the ones I did upstairs in my office. It's so funny because I think I am definitely an eye. I think I was.
[00:51:16] Speaker B: Oh, you know. Oh, you're an eye. I knew it. Yes. Eddie, here's an eye. When you first.
And I guess. Can I just say this, this is my third studio because the moves and now media. But I'm here. We're moved. We're settled. My family is like, moved to Tampa full. I tell my kids graduate, but Edgar. And then I have to go. He is nodding along. He's like, so, man, you make it so fun. That's not always the case. People are just very quiet and like techie. He's just like. He leads a team of 20, so he knows. He loves that. He knows what's next.
[00:51:47] Speaker C: Yeah. Yep. Thank you so much, Edgar.
[00:51:49] Speaker B: Yeah, thank you. Take care.
[00:51:52] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, actually, my grandpa's name, he turned 90 this week. His name is Edgar. So thank you.
[00:51:58] Speaker B: It's a good name. Good name.
[00:51:59] Speaker C: I really enjoyed it.
[00:52:00] Speaker B: Take care. I'll give you a heart back.
[00:52:01] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
[00:52:02] Speaker B: Please reach out. No pressure, but I did get you on LinkedIn as well, so I'd love to stay in touch. Awesome, awesome, awesome.
We gotta collaborate. I feel like there's, like, definitely some collaboration points here. All right, take care. Have a good day.
[00:52:13] Speaker C: You too.
[00:52:14] Speaker B: Bye.
[00:52:14] Speaker C: Bye.
